The Vortex of Terror

The upcoming 3 day weekend should afford me enough time to accomplish two significant tasks.

Task one: Survive the 24 hours of 7 Oaks.

Task two: Construct one of these in my backyard.

My Little Boy!

Hatin' on cyclists

It amazes me how many people seem ignorant of the law for cyclists. I remember as a youngin' riding my bike on the road, and getting bottles thrown at me telling me to get on the sidewalk. Actually, I guess the last two sentences answer each other.

She crossed the line......

..... You can't throw away a man's bacon and expect him to stay. I see nothing wrong with this kids behavior.

"THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS"

Best movie title ever........

Random thoughts of the day.....

Whenever I get an email that appears to have forwarded a thousand times before it gets to me, I usually delete before reading and then I reply; "Grandma, stop sending me this crap!"

However the following comes from one such email. These are just a few of my favorites. I don't know the original source.

Random thoughts:

• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner

2 weeks and counting

2 weeks till 24 hours of 7 Oaks. The closest thing Omaha has to 7 Oaks is Jewell, so we decided we needed to do some night riding at Jewell. I love Jewel. Tight and twisty, and more wildlife than any other trail. We saw a dozen deer, 4 or 5 turkey's, a raccoon, and a family of jackolopes.



This will be the first 24 hour race the Goatheads have done. I'm a little nervous about it because I don't feel like I have a clear game plan. Riding at Jewell made me feel a little better.

Which one is more impressive?

Sorry

I read the blog that Lumpy linked to below. Like Lumpy, I feel guilty for previous actions and would like to make ammends. So I would like to say I am sorry to Goathead nation if it looked like I was advertising any of the following products through photos on this site.
-Trek bicycles
-Giro Helmets
-Oakley sunglasses
-Nashbar sunglasses
-Nashbar garment/pannier bag
-Pearl Izumi shoes,gloves, and shorts
-Nema shorts
-Midwest Cycling Community (I wear their socks)
-Joe Boxer Athletic socks
-Dakine hydration packs
-Target brand technical t-shirts
-Old Navy technical t-shirts
-7 Oaks ski and mtn bike area
-Colorado toursim department
-Breckenridge downhill trails
-Moab tourism dept.
-Energizer head lamps

Man Asserts Dominion Over Nature, Hits Horse With Rally Car

Another local bike blog has made me feel guilty about the two environmentally destructive bikes made by evil corporations that I own. Thus, I have decided to stop riding and instead sit on my couch all day finding cringe-worthy Youtube clips to post on our environmentally destructive website. The following clip is brought to you by the Military Industrial Complex.

MC Spandex

No commentary necessary.

What heat?

This past Saturday, the mercury topped 100. While you were sitting on the couch sipping an Arnold Palmer, the Professor was cranking out 7 laps at Tranquility. He's the guy in the back in the above picture.......... but don't let that fool you. 7 laps earned him a 9th place finish in his first ever marathon event.

Every picture tells a story......

Tranquil Wednesday

With the pace yielded to the pleasure of Above & Beyond podcast #278 (happy late 40th first-man-on-the-moon anniversary by the way), I completed a full lap at Tranquility with no breaks. I feel like I'm starting to taste where I was at a couple years ago.

All you Marathon guys best watch out. I'm gunnin'.

Anyone want to play a game I just made up?

You bring your own blindfold, I'll supply everything else.....

Anyone???

Who can explain this?